Sunday, January 29, 2006

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

On my weekend off, I've done a little bit of research. According to the newest issue of Cosmo, someone seems to think that men that cheat can't help it. What??? You read that correctly. Cosmo says for most guys that cheating and lying can be an addiction just like one to alcohol, gambling, whatever. I'm sorry, but that is a lame ass excuse. Speaking of excuses, let's just go ahead and re-count some of the ones the bitches have gotten...

1. "I'm hung over and gonna stay home tonight." (And yet you walk into the bar and SURPRISE!!! He's there! Thank god for Advil)

2. "Ben's coming to pick me up and I'm going home." Again, I'm sorry -- I have never seen a girl named Ben until this weekend. Ignorant.

3. "I can't talk too much this weekend." Don't lie to me, ass! I know you are going to see your fiance...

4. " I'm just not fratty enough for you." If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be here...

5. "I've been hurt before and I just don't want to be in a relationship right now." According to "He's Just Not That Into You" that translates to "I don't want to be with YOU" It is a well known fact that every guy on this planet has "that girl" and we are way more wonderful and fulfilling than she ever thought about being

6. "Don't assume the worst about me. How do you know that those pink thongs don't belong to my cousin or something?" I just can't talk about that anymore... but I'm not bitter. Just amused at his lack of intelligence. I guess they could have been Ben's (see excuse #2)

7. "School and work are really hard right now. I think that we need a break." Yeah... a break for you to screw half of the Jackson Metro Area.

8. "My spedometer is broken. I have to stay in town and get it fixed." Really??? Just tell me that you don't want to go out with me. And, FYI, it is really hard to get the flu in NOVEMBER!!!

9. "I really don't want to go out. I'm gonna stay home and watch the football game." That is "boy-speak" for I'm staying home to get blazed.

10. "Yeah, I do have a girlfriend, but she lives in Nashville and we don't really see each other much. It's not going anywhere." Did you really just admit to me that you are okay with cheating? You are a winner.

My reason for bringing all of this up is to teach a very important lesson. If you have the slightest idea that your guy is lying or making shit up, he probably is. Be smart and don't buy it!!! Or, you can tell us and we'll figure it out, because we can find out anything!!!

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